Passing judgment. We all do it. Whether you do it in your head or out loud, you can't shake the urge to shake your head at someone walking by you that has made a public choice that you don't understand. Whether that choice walking by takes the form of a girl with blue hair, a guy covered in piercings and tattoos, or a couple that seem to be grossly disparate in attractiveness, you as a human being will find it natural to pass judgment.
Of course, not all judgments are the same. If you are a girl with blue hair, perhaps seeing another girl with blue hair will cause you to make a positive judgment instead of a negative one. Or perhaps your judgments will be dedicated to those passing by who seem to live a boring life with their mousy brown hair or plain, dull blond hair.
Most of us have "filters" that cause us to have inner judgments we choose to keep to ourselves, and conversely, we have outer judgments we don't mind passing along to anyone who will listen.
I'm sure over the course of adding posts to my blog, I'll choose to vent many of my "outer" judgments. This particular post is a somewhat brief rant on a topic that recently found my head shaking in fervor: Parents (and people in general) who are unable to distinguish between PET and PERSON.
There are quite a few things that irritate me about this topic. To make this a shorter post and for increased readability, allow me to break it down in just a few paragraphs:
* Despite what the image above indicates, parents should NEVER put a child on a leash. Dogs + Leash in Public = Good Pet Ownership. Child + Leash AT ANY TIME = BAD PARENTING. The parents that try to dress it up or disguise the effort by buying one of those cute animal backpack/harness rigs are just fooling themselves. We all know it isn't a backpack. You have literally leashed your child. If you can't keep track of them in a public place, consider honing your parenting skills or strapping your child into a stroller, or...maybe...just maybe...hold their hand? And no, I have yet to come across an example where there is an exception to this rule and I do not see this as a viable alternative to dealing with a child that has special needs. I'm sorry, but just because a child is more challenging to monitor than another does not make it right to tether them like pets.
* Phrase Play: The phrase "putting down" when referring to children usually is referencing putting them to bed for a nap or for the night, while "putting down" a pet means killing them, or what we politely call "euthanizing".
* Stop telling me that having a pet is a great way to practice having a kid. Why? Because it's NOT! Pets are EASIER to take care of than kids. I have a dog, so I'll use him as an example: I have a full time job. My dog sleeps in a crate all day while I'm at work. He eats on his own, I just have to make sure his bowls are full. He lets me know when he needs to go outside - through the week this is only twice (maybe 3 times) a day. When I want to go on vacation, I can call the kennel and arrange for his overnight care with ease, as long as his shots are up to date. Most kennels cost about $25 a day, though I'm lucky and take Neko to a kennel that only charges $7/day. Neko plays for about an hour a day and sleeps the rest of the time. Oh, and the cost is fairly minimal considering I don't have to clothe him, put him in daycare, etc.
* Stop telling me that having a pet is a great way to practice having a kid. Why? Because it's NOT! Pets are HARDER to have than kids. Yes, you read that right. While in some respects, pets are easier to care for, there are many ways that make pets harder to deal with. For one thing, kids can go almost anywhere with you when traveling. If you want to take your child on vacation with you, you usually don't have to try to find a "kid-friendly" hotel. Most, if not all, will allow them. National Parks allow children -- despite, I'm sure, the many cases of parents not picking up after their kids in parks, there is a zero risk that children will ever be banned from public parks the way pets have been. As children grow older, they also become more intelligent and more rational. You can explain to a child why it isn't a good idea to run out in the middle of the road or why it's important to not eat strange things found outside. Try having that discussion with your pet. Friends and family are more willing babysitters than dog-sitters. Though it could be argued that cat owners have the best luck in that department. And it's easier to bring a child along to a restaurant, out with friends, over to a friend's house, to a movie, etc. You get the idea.
* Dogs and cats have naturally shorter life spans. It's natural to outlive them. It annoys me when people that have only had pets their whole lives say that losing their pet is equivalent to losing a child. No, it isn't. I don't have a child, and I love my dog, but I can guarantee that losing Neko would not even be in the same league, let alone ballpark, as losing a child. I get this. It's time for all the pet owners/ non human parents to get this as well.
* On the same note...the sensitivity our society has towards animals desperately needs transferred to children as well. Yes, most people are compassionate enough to not want to see a child suffer, but our society finds it more appalling to hurt defenseless animals than children. I understand that inclination -- animals can't speak for themselves and are mostly unconditional loving creatures that can't defend adequately against human cruelty. But the same can and should be said for children. Don't believe I have a point? Take this as an example: Michael Vick is one of the most hated men in sports. The justice system put him behind bars for his animal cruelty and a great number of people in our society believed he shouldn't be allowed to play football -- a career that does not provide him with immediate access to dogs -- even after he served his time. Now I'm not saying I agree or disagree with those judgments. But then consider this: For years priests have been sexually molesting children in their congregations. Mostly targeting boys, the priests caused not only physical trauma, but psychological and emotional damage to the abused kids on a horrific scale. We are not talking hundreds, but estimates in the thousands -- the Church swept the cases under the rug, moved the priests to new congregations with new pools of victims within their reach without punishment. It was never a priority of the Church officials to find the abused children, because they weren't even a consideration from a religious perspective. Because these acts occurred within the walls of a recognized and respected religious organization, society as a whole heard stories of the atrocities happening but passed them off as rumors or someone else's problem that they had no business getting involved in. How many people in our society demanded these priests brought to justice? How many of them demanded they have to turn in their white collars and robes and never be allowed near another child again? A story recently broke about several priests in Philadelphia -- just another city in a long list of cities to report such news -- who were finally prosecuted for sexually abusing children. Did anyone actually hear about this story? Are we that desensitized to human suffering that Michael Vick deserves more air time on his animal cruelty charges than an entire group of priests that molested the youngest followers in their congregations? And don't tell me that it's just because Michael Vick is famous. I have yet to find one special series dedicated to uncovering the priest molesters in the world, but can name about 5 shows off the top of my head that deal directly with animal cruelty cases.
While I pass my judgments on all the parents that have leashes on their children, I have to laugh at the people that believe single parenting (by choice), gay and lesbian couples/parents, the number of divorces, or the irreligious in society are the people/things contributing mostly to the degradation of good ole' family values. From my own observations, every kid I've seen on a leash has come from a family of a married (or at least together) Mom and Dad.
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