Unleashing Observational Judgment: PEOPLE vs. PETS

Passing judgment. We all do it. Whether you do it in your head or out loud, you can't shake the urge to shake your head at someone walking by you that has made a public choice that you don't understand. Whether that choice walking by takes the form of a girl with blue hair, a guy covered in piercings and tattoos, or a couple that seem to be grossly disparate in attractiveness, you as a human being will find it natural to pass judgment.

Of course, not all judgments are the same. If you are a girl with blue hair, perhaps seeing another girl with blue hair will cause you to make a positive judgment instead of a negative one. Or perhaps your judgments will be dedicated to those passing by who seem to live a boring life with their mousy brown hair or plain, dull blond hair.

Most of us have "filters" that cause us to have inner judgments we choose to keep to ourselves, and conversely, we have outer judgments we don't mind passing along to anyone who will listen.

I'm sure over the course of adding posts to my blog, I'll choose to vent many of my "outer" judgments. This particular post is a somewhat brief rant on a topic that recently found my head shaking in fervor: Parents (and people in general) who are unable to distinguish between PET and PERSON.

There are quite a few things that irritate me about this topic. To make this a shorter post and for increased readability, allow me to break it down in just a few paragraphs:

* Despite what the image above indicates, parents should NEVER put a child on a leash. Dogs + Leash in Public = Good Pet Ownership. Child + Leash AT ANY TIME = BAD PARENTING. The parents that try to dress it up or disguise the effort by buying one of those cute animal backpack/harness rigs are just fooling themselves. We all know it isn't a backpack. You have literally leashed your child. If you can't keep track of them in a public place, consider honing your parenting skills or strapping your child into a stroller, or...maybe...just maybe...hold their hand? And no, I have yet to come across an example where there is an exception to this rule and I do not see this as a viable alternative to dealing with a child that has special needs. I'm sorry, but just because a child is more challenging to monitor than another does not make it right to tether them like pets.

* Phrase Play: The phrase "putting down" when referring to children usually is referencing putting them to bed for a nap or for the night, while "putting down" a pet means killing them, or what we politely call "euthanizing".

* Stop telling me that having a pet is a great way to practice having a kid. Why? Because it's NOT! Pets are EASIER to take care of than kids. I have a dog, so I'll use him as an example: I have a full time job. My dog sleeps in a crate all day while I'm at work. He eats on his own, I just have to make sure his bowls are full. He lets me know when he needs to go outside - through the week this is only twice (maybe 3 times) a day. When I want to go on vacation, I can call the kennel and arrange for his overnight care with ease, as long as his shots are up to date. Most kennels cost about $25 a day, though I'm lucky and take Neko to a kennel that only charges $7/day. Neko plays for about an hour a day and sleeps the rest of the time. Oh, and the cost is fairly minimal considering I don't have to clothe him, put him in daycare, etc.

* Stop telling me that having a pet is a great way to practice having a kid. Why? Because it's NOT! Pets are HARDER to have than kids. Yes, you read that right. While in some respects, pets are easier to care for, there are many ways that make pets harder to deal with. For one thing, kids can go almost anywhere with you when traveling. If you want to take your child on vacation with you, you usually don't have to try to find a "kid-friendly" hotel. Most, if not all, will allow them. National Parks allow children -- despite, I'm sure, the many cases of parents not picking up after their kids in parks, there is a zero risk that children will ever be banned from public parks the way pets have been. As children grow older, they also become more intelligent and more rational. You can explain to a child why it isn't a good idea to run out in the middle of the road or why it's important to not eat strange things found outside. Try having that discussion with your pet. Friends and family are more willing babysitters than dog-sitters. Though it could be argued that cat owners have the best luck in that department. And it's easier to bring a child along to a restaurant, out with friends, over to a friend's house, to a movie, etc. You get the idea.

* Dogs and cats have naturally shorter life spans. It's natural to outlive them. It annoys me when people that have only had pets their whole lives say that losing their pet is equivalent to losing a child. No, it isn't. I don't have a child, and I love my dog, but I can guarantee that losing Neko would not even be in the same league, let alone ballpark, as losing a child. I get this. It's time for all the pet owners/ non human parents to get this as well.

* On the same note...the sensitivity our society has towards animals desperately needs transferred to children as well. Yes, most people are compassionate enough to not want to see a child suffer, but our society finds it more appalling to hurt defenseless animals than children. I understand that inclination -- animals can't speak for themselves and are mostly unconditional loving creatures that can't defend adequately against human cruelty. But the same can and should be said for children. Don't believe I have a point? Take this as an example: Michael Vick is one of the most hated men in sports. The justice system put him behind bars for his animal cruelty and a great number of people in our society believed he shouldn't be allowed to play football -- a career that does not provide him with immediate access to dogs -- even after he served his time. Now I'm not saying I agree or disagree with those judgments. But then consider this: For years priests have been sexually molesting children in their congregations. Mostly targeting boys, the priests caused not only physical trauma, but psychological and emotional damage to the abused kids on a horrific scale. We are not talking hundreds, but estimates in the thousands -- the Church swept the cases under the rug, moved the priests to new congregations with new pools of victims within their reach without punishment. It was never a priority of the Church officials to find the abused children, because they weren't even a consideration from a religious perspective. Because these acts occurred within the walls of a recognized and respected religious organization, society as a whole heard stories of the atrocities happening but passed them off as rumors or someone else's problem that they had no business getting involved in. How many people in our society demanded these priests brought to justice? How many of them demanded they have to turn in their white collars and robes and never be allowed near another child again? A story recently broke about several priests in Philadelphia -- just another city in a long list of cities to report such news -- who were finally prosecuted for sexually abusing children. Did anyone actually hear about this story? Are we that desensitized to human suffering that Michael Vick deserves more air time on his animal cruelty charges than an entire group of priests that molested the youngest followers in their congregations? And don't tell me that it's just because Michael Vick is famous. I have yet to find one special series dedicated to uncovering the priest molesters in the world, but can name about 5 shows off the top of my head that deal directly with animal cruelty cases.


While I pass my judgments on all the parents that have leashes on their children, I have to laugh at the people that believe single parenting (by choice), gay and lesbian couples/parents, the number of divorces, or the irreligious in society are the people/things contributing mostly to the degradation of good ole' family values. From my own observations, every kid I've seen on a leash has come from a family of a married (or at least together) Mom and Dad.

FTD: Failure To Deliver

I promised a blog about FTD awhile ago and am just now getting around to it. Unfortunately, I've had time to cool off so the burn I was dying to throw their way has waned just a little.

That being said, I would HIGHLY recommend NOT using FTD for any floral/basket delivering needs and here's why:


The Dad of one of my co-workers recently passed away. He had been out of work off and on for about two weeks leading up to his Dad's passing, and we didn't get information about a memorial service until just a couple of days before it was to take place.

Now, this co-worker is one of our guys that sometimes can have one of those "the world is against me" kind of attitudes -- especially toward the workplace. (This coworker is none other than "George" from the Can-Can blog, if you read that one.) With that in mind, he is definitely a co-worker we wanted to make sure we took care of since no one from our Richmond office was going to be able to make the memorial service (it was in the middle of the day during a very hectic week and the service was 2 hours away).

As the person responsible for sending an arrangement on behalf of our company, and knowing how George is, I thought it would be nice to send an arrangement to the Church where the memorial service was going to be held and send a basket of goodies to George's home here in Richmond. My go-to flower delivery company is 1-800-flowers, but they changed their website since the last time I had been on it and now have a separate basket site and it just seemed like they didn't have 2 of the things I wanted. So then I tried ProFlowers (my next choice) and couldn't find what I wanted there either. As a last resort, I went to FTD, hearing good things about them in the past.

With their site, I found immediate success. They had the arrangement I wanted, fairly priced, and a sympathy "tin" of scrumptious cookies that I knew he would appreciate that I could send to his house. When I added my items to my cart and clicked on "check out" a pop up would appear that said I had no items in my cart.

I tried putting the 2 items in my cart 3 TIMES. Then I decided to "sign up" for an account on FTD, sign into the account, and try adding the items to my cart again. Again, no luck. The site was temporarily bugged. At this point it was Wednesday morning, the memorial service was on Friday and I was getting desperate.

I should have gone back to one of the other sites and found something else. But I was sold on FTD's sympathy tin because I just knew George would love those damn cookies. So I called the 800# to order the items over the phone.

My customer rep was actually very helpful and courteous. After about 30 minutes (we were dealing with a slight language barrier getting the two items ordered -- they were being shipped to 2 different addresses so it took us awhile making sure the order was correct, not to mention the fact that it took him awhile to get the card message right since the 2 items I ordered had different messages attached to them.) But, after 30 minutes, all seemed good.

The email confirmation of my order came in within minutes of getting off the phone with the rep. I had to chuckle a little because instead of "St. Francis of Assisi" he put "Saint of Francis Assisi" (I thought it was funny), and the message he fumbled a little on the cookies, but it wasn't enough of a big deal to get upset over (although I did spend 30 minutes making sure these things were correct and he and I repeated EVERYTHING at least 3 times to ensure accuracy.)

The cookies were to be delivered on Thursday to George's house and the floral arrangement was to be delivered to the Church on Thursday as well. I knew George would be in Richmond to accept the cookies, but wouldn't be home on Friday because the service was two hours away. Because the service was starting at 11 a.m., I wanted to make sure the arrangement was delivered on Thursday so it was there in time.

I received an email confirmation on Thursday afternoon letting me know the cookies had been delivered to George. Great!

I didn't receive anything referencing the arrangement to the Church, but didn't panic because it was still early. By 4 p.m. I decided to email a customer inquiry on the status of the delivery (they have a specific email for this). I didn't receive anything back.

Friday morning at 10:50 AM (10 MINUTES BEFORE THE START OF THE SERVICE) I get a call at the office from FTD. The female rep calling is letting me know that the florist near the Church was unable to deliver the arrangement THURSDAY and they want to know if it is okay if they deliver today.

Now, I tried to stay calm, and at first, I was successful at this. I explained to the rep that the service was starting in 10 minutes and it would only be okay for them to deliver that day if they could deliver the arrangement within the next 10 minutes. She said she would need to call the florist and call me back.

She called me back 10 minutes later to let me know that it would not be possible for the florist to deliver the flowers before the start of the service because the florist was over 30 minutes away from the Church.

Now, keep in mind that the flowers were $45.99 and shipping was $16.99 for the flowers. (The cookies were 19.99 and the shipping was $23.99 -- ridiculous, right??) But as they were both planned for "next day" delivery, I didn't complain about the shipping prices.

When I told the rep that it was completely unacceptable for them to have not notified me the day before that the flowers couldn't be delivered the day as promised, she offered a refund on the item price (keep in mind, she didn't offer a refund on shipping). I explained to her as nicely as I could that a refund was not a good solution to the problem. I now have a coworker and his entire family who think the people at his job are a-holes. Not only did NO ONE from the company go to the service, but we didn't even send flowers?? Do you think it's easy to explain to a co-worker after he comes back to work that we had good intentions but the flower company didn't come through? A guy who thinks the world is against him anyway?? I was getting more upset by the second.

After explaining all of this to the rep (yes, I did tell her all of that), I asked her what her next solution was since refunding my money and not delivering the flowers at all would create an even bigger issue.

She then offered to deliver the flowers to George on Saturday. And ACTED LIKE SHE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR BY NOT CHARGING FOR A SATURDAY DELIVERY. I politely expressed my annoyance that I had paid for next day delivery, they were supposed to be delivered to the church on Thursday, now the flowers were arriving at his home two days late, they weren't there for the service, and FTD isn't going to offer anything to make me happier about this scenario??

She then gave me a scripted line that she could offer 10% off the item price. Okay. I asked if she meant 10% off from the $45.99 or 10% off the total price of the flowers + shipping, and she said 10% off the item price. Since she seemed reluctant to do the math, I did it for her. Here's a breakdown of our conversation:

Me: "You mean, these flowers are being delivered 2 days later than promised, not there for the service, and you are seriously offering to only refund me $4.60 from my $62.98 cost?"

Rep: "Yes ma'am."

Me: "Well, that doesn't work for me. You're going to have to try again because that's a joke. The shipping alone is $16.99. Why am I paying $16.99 for next day delivery when the flowers are being delivered 2 days late???"

Rep: "Well, ma'am, we could deliver the flowers to the recipient's address today, we just can't get the flowers to the Church before the service."

Me: "Since I've already explained to you that the service is 2 hours away from where my co-worker lives, and he'll be at the service, who is going to be at his home to accept a delivery today? They can't be delivered today at his home, no one will be there! Not to mention, even if they would have been delivered today, it's still a day later than promised, and I paid for next day delivery when I ordered on Wednesday!"

Rep: "Yes ma'am. I understand. That is why we are offering to deliver the flowers to his residence on Saturday, at no extra charge at a 10% discount from the item price for you."

Me: "10% off the item price is only $4.60!! That does not work for me when I paid over $60 to have flowers delivered to the Church, YESTERDAY."

Rep: "Ma'am, yes I understand your frustration, please hold."

[On hold for approx 3 minutes.]

Rep: "Ma'am, I do understand your concern and that is why we can offer you 20% off your item price for your inconvenience, what address can we deliver the flowers to on Saturday?"

(Nice try lady)

Me: "Let me get this straight. I just got put on hold for 3 minutes so you can come back with an offer of knocking $9.20 off my bill? The shipping charge alone was $16.99, I don't understand why you aren't offering to at least remove the shipping charge since the flowers were not shipped as promised."

Rep: "Yes ma'am, I understand but at this time we can only offer 20% off the item price, if you let me know what address we can ship the flowers to, we can get those delivered for you on Saturday."

(What, is she a robot? And if she says she understands ONE MORE TIME I'm going to stab something...)

Me: "That does NOT work for me. Let me repeat this. I should NOT be charged for next day delivery when the item was NOT delivered next day. I don't understand what is so difficult. If you can't offer me a discount that covers the shipping charge then I want to speak to someone that can."

Rep: "Please hold"

[This time I'm on hold for a solid 7 minutes, and I'm being generous here because I had the call on speaker and it felt more like 20 minutes.]

Rep: "Ma'am, we can offer you 30% off the item price and $2.00 off the shipping price, and that is the most we can discount your purchase unless you'd prefer to have a full refund and we can cancel the order."

(Now she's just pissing me off.)

Me: "Okay. Let me get this straight. You are offering 30% which is $13.80 plus $2.00 off the shipping, making it a total discount of $15.80. The shipping charge was $16.99. This is not a discount that satisfies me as I'm still paying for shipping that didn't happen as promised. A full refund and order cancellation is not a workable solution for me because since your company waited until Friday to call me and tell me the flowers could not get delivered as promised, I'm unable to use another company that can have flowers delivered to him at a comparable - and at this point reasonable - price before he gets back to work on Monday and comes in to work thinking we are all a bunch of jackasses. By waiting until Friday to notify me about this issue you've effectively removed any option I had in using another company to fix this."

Rep: (Getting testier by the minute with her tone) "YES ma'am. I UNDERSTAND. But we are offering you 30% off the item price, delivering the flowers on Saturday, and offering $2.00 off the shipping charge. If this doesn't work for you, we can offer a full refund and cancel the order."

Me: "Please wait a minute."

(I hurry up and bring 1-800-flowers up on the screen to check and see if they can deliver an arrangement on Saturday - the Peace Lily I picked out is not available for Saturday, next day delivery, so I can't use another company to get him flowers before Monday.)

Me: "I'm not satisfied with either option. Again, your company by waiting until today to call me about the flowers not getting delivered has stripped me from any chance of getting another company to fix YOUR mistake. I understand that it was the local florist that made the error, but that isn't my problem. You are just notifying me today that a delivery that was supposed to happen yesterday afternoon didn't happen and that you are unable to deliver today."

Rep: "MA'AM, as I've explained before, we CAN deliver the flowers today, but not to the Church for the service."

Me: "And as I've explained, if you couldn't deliver the flowers to the Church by 11 a.m. today then we are done talking about delivering the flowers today since there are ZERO options of having someone present in his Richmond home to accept the delivery. Do you understand that the Southside of Richmond and the service in Triangle, VA are almost 2 hours apart? I get that you are not from here, but I need to make sure you understand that no one will be at his home in Richmond today."

Rep: "Yes, I do understand, which is why we can offer a Saturday delivery. There is nothing else I can do. We are already discounting both the item price and the shipping cost as you requested."

Me: "But not enough to actually cover the shipping cost!"

Rep: "No ma'am. I'm sorry but that is the final offer."

Me: "If you are incapable or unauthorized to offer me a discount that covers at the MINIMUM my shipping cost, then I want to speak to someone that can."

Rep: "Ma'am, the 30% and $2 discount is the best we can offer -- "

(Cutting her off)

Me: "I want to speak to your supervisor. Now."

Rep: "Please hold"

[On hold for a brisk 4 minutes this time]

New Rep: "Ma'am, I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience you are experiencing. Let me assure you this is not the normal customer experience. I can offer you a 40% discount from your item price, Saturday delivery, a $10 coupon on your next purchase, and I will personally call the recipient to let him know that we failed to deliver the arrangement as scheduled so he understands the fault is not with you."

(Nearly shocked into silence....)

Me: "THANK YOU. Yes, the 40% discount is reasonable since now the shipping is essentially free - as it should be. You can keep the coupon because I'll never use FTD again, but here is the recipient's name and number, and a phone call would be outstanding to explain to him what happened with his delivery."

New Rep: "Yes ma'am, I'll call him personally. We'd still like to send you the coupon, but we'll get the discount applied to your charge right away. You will be emailed with a delivery confirmation, now can you give me the details of the new delivery address and contact information?"

Me: "Keep the coupon, here's the information..."

FINALLY!!!! Now, if FTD had led with that last offer when they FIRST called, I wouldn't have felt the need to write this blog. But, as my assistant can corroborate, this entire FTD exchange took FORTY NINE MINUTES. That doesn't include the first call letting me know the flowers hadn't been delivered and my wait time as she called the florist and then called me back.

Whew. That was a long story. Turns out, I'm still pretty fired up about the whole experience.

My point is this: If you are a company that boasts 100% customer satisfaction GUARANTEED on your website, and in your delivery/shipping small print do NOT mention anything about the possibility of an item actually NOT arriving as promised.... then you should be providing your best offer at the start of the call in order to minimize irreversible customer dissatisfaction. ESPECIALLY when you already know that the arrangement is for a time-sensitive memorial service that you are MISSING completely.

On a side note, after the fact - turns out that the B*tch of a "New Rep" did NOT make any calls to my co-worker. In fact, the icing on the cake: the only call he received from FTD was from the local florist on Friday very rudely asking him where she can deliver the arrangement - and she called in the middle of the memorial service (he didn't answer but had a voicemail from her.)

Unbelievable. Was I wrong? Did I get heated over nothing?

I don't think so....

A Full Moon at the Can Can

Getting Dethroned: Knowing When To Just OWN It.


I have a pretty funny story to tell. I think the funniest part is that it has been in the making for quite some time.

It's no secret that I love my job. When I say that I love my job, I mean that I GENUINELY love my job -- it's a rare condition that seems to affect very few people in this world, unfortunately.

Part of the reason why I love my job so much is because of the people I work with. My boss is a truly remarkable person. He's one of those bosses that doesn't even realize how great of a boss he is. The rest of my "boys" all have their individual personality quirks, but are still all equally lovable in their own right. I have joked in the past that it should be easy for people to understand why I never want married in my personal life when I spend the majority of my time with 5 different husbands that I work with. I have the husband that lets my "honey do" list go in one ear and out the other, I have one husband that is super sensitive to my every facial expression and always has a quick "What's wrong?" waiting for me if I don't 'look' right, I have the husband that delivers friendly and flirty banter, and then the husband that bickers with me every chance he gets, etc., etc., etc.

It is the husband that bickers with me every chance he gets that stars in this particular comedy.

We'll name him "George" to keep things anonymous.


George and I have been bickering for what feels like years. Everyone in the office often jokes that we sound like a real married couple - and whenever someone makes this joke, both of our faces immediately wrinkle up in disgust at the thought. I'm not his type. He's not my type. This doesn't prevent him from occasionally flirting -- in between getting red-faced and fired up about the latest thing he's pissed at me about. I take it in strides. He is very much like a female in the sense that he never lets anything go - and will quickly throw a past argument back in your face even months later if it suits his current argument. He's a frustrating person to argue with because his complaints and rants are completely irrational. We have had a couple of pretty nasty verbal bouts in the past, the last one of which occurred just a couple of weeks ago. But, as with most working relationships, we manage to make up and get the job done with genuine smiles on our faces.

It's important to note that George is the only person in the office with whom I have this kind of volatile interaction.

Last Friday I came in to work early to help interview a potential new hire. I normally get to the office a few hours after the boys, but on this particular day I was at the office before the boys. The morning went well, and being there earlier than normal allowed me to get quite a bit of work done, even after spending time in the interview.

The boys were in the back warehouse getting their schedules out and the day started. I had already had one cup of coffee at this point and by 7:30 my bladder was feeling the pressure.

We have one toilet/bathroom in our building. This bathroom is shared by both sexes as it is, like I just said, the only bathroom in the building.

Now, I should probably stop here (since you already know where I'm heading) and talk about the history of our particular bathroom.

Yes, our bathroom has "history" -- and quite a funny one.

First, there was the 'Bare Necessities': When I first started - there was no hand soap, no paper towels, and you were lucky to get toilet paper because this is a bathroom only guys frequented at the time.

Then, there was the 'F'ed up Flusher': We had the lid off the back of the toilet on the floor for weeks because you had to reach in and pull up on one of the arms on the inside to flush the toilet manually. We finally rigged this somehow with a coat hanger that replaced a 'flusher' for several more weeks.

Then, we had 'Impaired Illumination': The electricity in our bathroom didn't work for awhile -- so while we had the flusher rigged, we also had a construction lamp inside the bathroom (which is like a HUGE spotlight) that we needed to plug in during each bathroom use.

Then, we had the 'Defective Door Knob': For a solid week before we got it fixed, our bathroom door had the remarkable ability to lock a person inside the bathroom. Yes, you were locked in the bathroom from the inside. One of the guys that works in the warehouse got himself locked in the bathroom one day when I was the only one in the office. It was quite the experience trying to explain to him through a wooden door how to use the screwdriver on the shelf in the bathroom to unlock the door -- did I mention he didn't speak English? It was really funny...


Which brings us to the 'Warped Door': Now that we've had a fully functioning bathroom for almost a year now, we weren't too surprised when we started noticing that the door sometimes doesn't shut all the way unless you put your weight into closing it. It can "click" shut and still technically be open. Which brings us to last Friday...

Now, I hope you are reading this and understand that I am describing our little bathroom with love -- the bathroom is just one of those quirky things that provides character to our office.

But, you aren't honestly thinking about the 'character' of the office when you have your pants around your ankles, ass in the air, and you are bending over getting ready to pull your pants up when a coworker walks in on you.

It might not have been as funny if it was anyone else walking in on anyone else. But it was George walking in on good 'ole me. Yep, that's right -- he got a full moon. And out of sheer shock and humiliation, he actually FROZE in the doorway staring at me (and making eye contact) before I called out his name and he snapped into action and closed the door.


Now, when a coworker sees your rear in full pale glory... you can handle it one of two ways...

You could either A) Freak out, get mortified and hide in your office embarrassed beyond belief, debating on whether or not you'll ever come out of your office again or ever come back to work for that matter...

Or...

B) Take a deep breath and walk out of the bathroom into the warehouse and say, "Bathroom's all yours, George."

I, of course, opted for option B. I decided to face down the embarrassment by walking into the warehouse laughing off the entire incident. To be fair, George was more humiliated than me, so it was easy to aim the teasing jokes in his direction. He joked about how we might get along better now that we are so much 'closer.' My response? "Well, if I had known showing my ass to you would have made you act nicer to me, I would have done it much sooner." All of the guys couldn't believe how UN-embarrassed I was about the whole situation.

Now had it been ANYONE other than George, like say, my boss for example...I probably would be typing a very different story with a drastically different tone...because I honestly don't know if I could have taken it so well if it had been anyone else.

The story has been told to just about everyone affiliated with our work and my boss' wife came in to the office today and told me how my boss told her the story and couldn't get over how I "took it like a champ."

Is there a lesson to be learned here? Well, aside from making sure the door is actually locked?

I think so -- when faced with an impossibly embarrassing situation, there is ALWAYS an alternative way to reacting that makes you come out on top. :)

Turn Ons to Tune In To. Television's Top 10 Men.

Just a fun Top 10 List I wanted to put together of the guys who can turn me on when I tune in...(and please give me some credit for not only posting, but being able to find decent pictures of these guys fully clothed...)



10. David Caruso of CSI:MIAMI. I know, I know. Not the obvious choice. And although I would never actually consider David Caruso to be sexy, his character Horatio Cane certainly is. Maybe it's all those youtube sunglasses montages...but I think it's mostly the way his character is so determined to keep his word to victims - he's sensitive when he needs to be, yet demonstrates remarkable toughness (love the episode where he gets the domestic abuser in a room and shuts the blinds as he tells him he's going to "wait" with the perp for his lawyer...knowing he's about to give the guy a beat down of his own). There is something undeniably attractive about his character's protective nature, not just for his team, but of people his character meets for the first time.


9. Seth Macfarlane of FAMILY GUY. Even though he voices more than one character, his regular voice takes the form of Brian, the family dog. Brian is the atheist in the family, Stewie's wing man, and I'm just using this all as an excuse to get Seth Macfarlane on my list. I'm sorry, forgive me. He's undeniably cute and incredibly intelligent, and THAT is incredibly sexy.


8. Jesse Williams of GREY'S ANATOMY. Okay, so I don't actually watch this show and haven't seen it in over two seasons. However, I have caught previews of the show and bits and pieces here and there, and I must say, if I were to be a faithful follower, I would have an eye out for this guy who plays Doc Avery.


7. Scott Caan of HAWAII FIVE-O. As Dann-o, his humor has my heart. You simply can't watch this show without finding him irresistibly adorable. I completely understand why the show won a People's Choice Award.


6. TJ Thyne of BONES. He's a nerdy scientist with beautiful blue eyes. He's an affectionate husband and soon-to-be Dad that will do anything for the love of his life. He's an intelligent conspiracy theorist with a heart of gold. What's not to love?


5. David Boreanaz of BONES. Forget this guy's personal life issues because everyone has them and it doesn't detract from Booth's moral high ground at all. I happen to love the "cocky" belt buckle and the flirty banter he's had with Bones over the last several seasons. It's just so easy to like his character, and it helps that he's pretty easy on the eyes as well.


4. Alex O'Loughlin of HAWAII FIVE-O. I don't know what's more sexy...his cut to the chase character or the real life Australian actor. I fell in lust with him on the short lived MOONLIGHT, and I'm happy to see him land a show with potential staying power -- it helps that his character can now bask in the sunlight and partake in the Hawaiian tradition of limited shirt wearing (though admittedly, he doesn't get half-naked on the show NEARLY enough!)


3. Ian Smolder-halder, I mean Somerhalder. Mispronunciation or not, there is no denying this guy smolders on screen. At first he was just so bad he was good, and now that he's mostly good, it just makes you want to love him even more. An added bonus is that he's willing to risk his (sort of) life for a woman he loves...knowing she loves his brother instead. He makes every female watching the show want to jump into the TV and beg him to love them instead.


2. Alexander Skarsgard of TRUE BLOOD. No, I'm not quite sure how he's not #1 either. To be fair, the #1 spot should really be a tie. This guy stole the show in Season 2 and just kept getting better. I CAN'T WAIT for Season 4 (Season of the Witch) and am really hoping Alan Ball has him running half naked down Sookie's driveway with amnesia in episode 1....or I might be compelled to write some nasty-grams to the good director. But whether Alan B. comes through or not in S4, he definitely lived up to my expectations with Eric's character in S3. Forget Jacob or Edward...I'm on Team Viking.


1. Joshua Jackson of FRINGE. I guess as long as Joshua Jackson is on TV, he'll always find his way to my #1 spot. I've been told that although I claim to not have a type (hey, look at this list...is there really a pattern?) if I did have one, this guy would be the epitome of that type. I'm told by some that they can see a small resemblance between my favorite TV star with my favorite musician (Dave Matthews) but...I don't see it. I've loved Joshua Jackson since he played Pacey, and love his character on FRINGE. I'm a little mad at him for not knowing Faux-livia from the real Olivia, but...I'm quite sure he'll find a way to make it up to her this upcoming season. I'll have to TUNE IN to see how well he pulls that off, and that certainly won't be a chore.


MEN-tionables that are certainly worth honoring:

Sendhil Ramamurthy of COVERT AFFAIRS. On USA's new summer show, he played Jai Wilcox. I first fell in love with him on HEROES, and although he is certainly attractive, it's his sexy voice that really gets him to the Top 15.

Ryan Kwanten and Joe Manganiello of HBO's TRUE BLOOD. Okay, so they didn't quite make the Top 10, but they are definitely in the Top 15. It's impossible to not love Ryan Kwanten's innocent ignorance. And Joe Manganiello makes you believe that werewolves are real, and can see why they run hot. The two didn't make the Top 10 probably because True Blood is in off-season - had I made the list over the summer, these two could have definitely found their way closer to the top.

Mark Salling - Puck from GLEE. Although I'm sure the kid is much older than the character he plays, there is still something that feels "off" about calling this guy a turn on. But, he's adorable as Puck, and a guy that can sing is always attractive. If I watched GLEE more often, I might have overlooked the age gap.

Eric Dane of GREY'S ANATOMY. I know, I know...Mr. McDreamy himself didn't make the list. I'll always have a small place in my heart for the Can't Buy Me Love star, but Eric Dane's McSteamy on GREY'S (when I did watch 2 seasons ago) turned up the heat more than any of the other good Doc's...hence his nickname.


Did I forget your favorite? Put together a list of your own...or let me know who you think is missing from mine. :)

My Top 10 for 2010: A Year in Review

When asked about my hopes and dreams, plans, and resolutions of the New Year, it's impossible to not think about this past year. While I'm allergic to resolutions and try to keep my hopes and dreams in a tight reality check from year to year, I do like to measure my expectations of the coming year with what the previous year brought me.

With that said, here are 10 highlights from 2010 that I hope if not to duplicate, at least measure up to in 2011:

(In no particular order)

1. The inaugural Best Friend-cation.

In October, I surprised my best friend with a road trip up to Salem, MA during the Haunted Happening festivities of the Halloween season. It was the first trip the two of us had gone on together as adults with just the two of us, and since Halloween is her absolute favorite, I thought it was the best place to kick off what I hope marks as the first annual best friend-cation. Might pick a place a little closer this year though. :)

2. The Last Stop: DMB 2010 Tour Ending Show in Charlottesville, Va.

Okay. I have yet to blog about my favorite band, but have considered doing it many times. Nothing made me want to blog about them more than the epic concert at C'ville in November. But I held back knowing that if I put the letters "DMB" in a blog title, it might be TOO MUCH (see, I just can't seem to HELP MYSELF). Okay, okay...the concert was the best show I've ever been to. Yes, I have seen the band at the Gorge (every DMB fan hopes to see them at that venue), I saw Roi play for the last time at Piedmont Park on his birthday in a truly memorable concert with the Allman Bros. Band, and around 15 other times throughout the years. But, the energy level and unstoppable performance of each band member was unparalleled from any previous performance I had seen. The set list was incredible. For the first time I saw DMB perform past midnight with a double encore. Even the knowledge that they will not be touring in 2011 couldn't bring me down from Cloud 9 after that show.

3. Two Heads are Better Than One: Sam Harris and Bill Maher.

These guys should really be separated, as they are each deserving of their own highlight. Sam Harris' lecture on his book The Moral Landscape in D.C. was a score like no other. Not only did I have a 'Oh My God I got to touch his hand' moment, but more importantly, I had the opportunity to listen -- in person -- to my favorite lecturer, speaker, intellect, scientist, and author of this decade.

Bill Maher was another incredible night. Sure, I've seen his stand-up on HBO, I've seen his bits on Real Time, I've seen his youtube clips, but it pales in comparison to seeing him live. He shares my point of view on about 98% of topics I've heard him discuss, so you can imagine how much I enjoyed his performance. The bonus? This performance was in Baltimore on the Friday before the DMB Saturday night concert in C'ville tying it for second best weekend of the year.

4. My First Visit to a Comedy Club.

Yes, I'm 31 years old. Yes, 2010 marked my first year of experiencing a comedy club. You would think someone like me that loves watching stand up on TV would have found my way to a comedy club or two long before this past year. Alas, this was not the case. But, my friend decided to celebrate her 30th birthday in NYC this year and one of our adventures led us to Stand Up NY -- a great line up, a great night, lots of laughs, and a great first experience. I have since been to the comedy club in Richmond several times, but Stand Up NY will be hard to beat, and was an unforgettable first comedy club experience.

5. So Cool to be in So Cal.

A trip to California is always a highlight. Eating at Baby Blues BBQ in Venice, going to two casinos, spending time with family and my good friend, eating a zucchini weenie (hey, you had to be there), and being able to enjoy another fun weekend getaway was just priceless. 'Nuff said.

6. Dancing Queen.

Okay, so maybe I'm not quite back at the 'Dancing Queen' status yet. But in early 2010 I really went dancing (or as they fondly call it in Jersey 'fist pumping') for the first time in several years. I can't believe how much I've missed it. I made the trip a couple of times to Jersey this year and not only got to dance, but had the chance to spend time with friends I don't get to see very often. I have officially made it my goal to go back up to Jersey at least 3 times a year, if not more, (when finances and schedules allow.) My dancing diva Sista is willing to take me dancing whenever I can make the trip, so I'm hoping 2011 will get me on the road even more than 2010 did.

7. Moving Out: On My Own (Again.)

It's hard to believe that I've only been in my apartment for a year. But, this week is actually the one year anniversary of moving in to my own apartment in Richmond, making 2010 a year that started out with a bang. My favorite part of getting my apartment was hearing responses from different family and friends that made it sound like I was moving out of my parents' house for the first time. Yes, I moved back to Richmond and in with my Mom the summer of 2008. I lived with her for a year and a half before deciding to make this city permanent by getting into a lease. I wanted to make sure that Richmond was where I wanted to stay for awhile. Funny how everyone seemed to forget I lived out of my parents' house for the greater part of the 11 previous years, and quite a few of those years were spent on my own, thank you very much. But, being on my own again is a feeling I can't even describe. Freedom. Independence. It...Is...Sublime!


8. Friendly Faces, Friendly Places: A Year of Family and Friends.

This was a lucky year for me when it comes to family and friends. Not only did I get to see my friend in Jersey, friends from college, my family in California, my good friend in California, but even better than that, I got to meet my youngest cousin on my Mom's side for the first time, I saw friends that I hadn't seen in years (from Washington, California, Pennsylvania, and even Virginia) and family in Pennsylvania. A friend got married, a friend got pregnant, babies were born, we had an amazing turnout for our annual PanCAN 5K race and raised a phenomenal amount for our cause, I celebrated my birthday with friends I hadn't seen in awhile, spent time with my niece and nephew (which is always a highlight) and saw my niece perform at her first dance recital (I'm hoping she continues to love to dance as she grows up). And many other highlights with friends and family throughout the year, but I just couldn't possibly mention them all.

9. Movie of the Year: Burlesque.

Yea yea, go ahead. If you aren't laughing right now, I know you are absolutely dying to. Go ahead, I don't mind...I'll wait. Ya done yet? Not quite? Well, while you get a good chuckle out of this highlight, allow me to explain: It was the best movie of the year. Yep, that's all the explanation I need. Don't judge me until you've seen it. Any movie that can inspire me to want to dance in the parking lot after I see it is definitely one that will make my permanent Top 10.

10. WE ARE...PENN STATE!

As a Penn State graduate, I became a fan of the Nittany Lions in 2007, or at least, I thought I did.
But until you go to a home game in Happy Valley and share in the complete experience with 90,000+ fans in Beaver Stadium, share in the traditions of crowd surfing, Zombie Nation, Whiteout, the Drum Major flip, and so many other things that make Nittany Nation the best fan experience any college has to offer, you just can't comprehend the true meaning of what it is to be a Penn State fan. (Yes, I'm slightly biased). Did I mention my first Penn State game also happened to be JoePa's 400th win? Just an added bonus. :)

Sure, there were many 'downs' in 2010 that I purposefully omitted, but I have many things to look forward to in 2011, and I can only hope that the year ahead is at least half as good as the year I just left behind.

Here's hoping all of you reading will have the best experiences possible in 2011.

Happy New Year!

Missing the Magic: What Happened to Men in Movies?

A strange thing happened while watching Dancing with the Stars last night: it brought me to tears. I wasn't going to even watch this season. With Bristol Palin and the Hoff, I wasn't really feeling it. But, then I heard Jennifer Grey would be on the show and I knew I would have to tune in whether I wanted to or not. In a way, I wish I hadn't.

The clip of her practice with Derek where she finds out they'll be dancing to 'These Arms of Mine' brought me to sobs before it even hit her - it was a song on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. I immediately felt the absence of Patrick Swayze and felt a significant ache at knowing he's gone.

I have always enjoyed movies -- probably more than I should. But even more than my love for movies, I've had a love for certain characters in them.

Johnny Castle was one of these characters.

It's hard to believe that it's been over 20 years since Dirty Dancing hit theaters. I still remember the first time my parents took me to see it. I left the theater on a sunny afternoon dancing in the parking lot. I was only 7 years old. And I was in love.

Baby became my hero and Johnny -- remember, at the age of 7 -- became my ideal man. It took one viewing of the movie and I was convinced that I was destined to live a life like Baby's and end up falling in love and dancing with a guy like Johnny.

But Johnny wasn't the first Hollywood movie crush I experienced. About 2-3 years earlier (yes, when I was about 4-5 years old), my very first crush was on Christopher Reeve's Superman.

It's pretty remarkable that even so young I could recognize a great thing when I saw it. Tall, handsome, honest, strong... what wasn't to love?

I still felt that crush every time I watched any of the Superman movies (Christopher Reeve versions only though) later in life. And when Christopher Reeve was injured and later passed away, it felt bittersweet: it was incredibly sad that he was gone, but I felt relief that he would always live on through his characters.

Remembering the loss of these two magic men made me think about movies of our current generation. What characters can even come close to comparing to these favorites?

Sure, the girls like their Rob Patz and Taylor Lautner. But it isn't the same. We had Rob Lowe and Michael Schoeffling. Before there were "I love Jacob" t-shirts, we had "I love Jake Ryan" t-shirts. These teen dreams come and go in every generation. But few rise above and reach icon status.

Christopher Reeve reached icon status for a great number of people - crossing generational lines. Patrick Swayze certainly reached that status in my eyes.

So what happened? Why are so few characters fall-in-love-worthy? What happened to the magic in the movies that made you want to jump into the TV so you can fly around the world or be saved at Niagara Falls, or so you can practice doing the lift in a lake with a half-naked dancer?

Sure, I have my movie crushes now -- but these days they're fleeting and usually only last as long as I'm watching the movie. The crush isn't EPIC.

Maybe it's because I just can't imagine crying over the loss of someone I've never met now -- but then, if that was the case, why cry during Dancing with the Stars when I thought about Patrick's absence?

I think characters just lack that magical quality that seemed to ooze out of both of these guys' characters. I miss that magic in movies.

Until Hollywood sweeps me away with a new epic crush, I guess I'll just have to watch my worn DVD's of Superman and Dirty Dancing -- just thinking about that puts a smile on my face. Nothing wrong with being old enough to drink a glass of wine while watching two lifelong favorites.

Grossly Oblivious People: The New GOP

It isn't very often that I'm rendered speechless.

It is such a rare occurrence that I'm not entirely sure how to even start this blog. Where can you start? Where does it end?

Most of you may not be paying attention to the midterms. If you think I'm talking about college essay exams, you have definitely not been watching the news.

In Delaware, the Republicans of that state have picked Christine O'Donnell as their representative going into the November elections.

In case you have been under a rock and don't know anything about her, let me go over a couple of highlights.

-- She's a member of the Tea Party
-- She was endorsed by Sarah Palin
-- She is an extreme right wing wanna-be politician. I know, I know...you're thinking, "Well, Dacia, coming from a liberal atheist, I'm sure she's really not THAT bad." Hmmm. Okay. Let me convince you using just two points -- these points, I should point out myself, have been confirmed via video footage of this woman in interviews.

1. She, like most republicans, is anti-choice. (I don't like the term pro-life, for one thing, I find it ironic since many of these people are pro-death penalty). Now, this isn't quite radical despite how much I disagree with this view. What IS radical, is that she believes that there are NO EXCEPTIONS to when abortion should be legal -- even in the cases of rape or incest. She actually has said that she believes that God has a plan for everyone, and that you need to turn to God for guidance and encouragement in the event of rape or incest and he will help you come to terms (no pun intended) with your pregnancy. This means that if a 14 year old girl was raped by her Uncle or Father, Ms. O'Donnell believes the government should force her to carry that baby to term because it is part of "God's plan."

2. As a founder of SALT (Savior's Alliance for Lifting the Truth) she went on video to state that not only are homosexuals an abomination, but that the "gay" can be cured. Even nuttier, she said that we need to teach children about sexuality at an early age because they need to understand masturbating is bad. Why? Because lust is a form of adultery, and you can't have masturbation without lust, therefore, in the eyes of God, you are committing adultery by pleasuring yourself. Oh, and I almost forgot -- the use of condoms, according to her, spreads HIV/AIDS.

Try having that conversation with your kid someday.

I wish I could say that this woman is just a crazy nut job that has no prayer of getting elected to our United States Senate. But, the truth is, she surprised a lot of people by winning the Republican primary. Now, I don't think the rest of the citizens in Delaware are willing to have a crazy loon as their representative (at least, I hope) and I'm sure they'll make sure the Democratic candidate gets seated. But, can we just stop for a moment and realize that this woman WON a primary?

I also wish I could say that she is the only radical that has a shot of landing in Washington this November, but unfortunately, she's not. There are a total of 5 confirmed republican candidates that successfully won their primaries that agree with Ms. O'Donnell's radical view of abortion - stating they do not believe abortion is acceptable in ANY case. Considering 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, this is a serious issue that dramatically affects the lives of almost half of our population.

My question for all of the GOP'ers out there is this:

How can you state on one hand that you want "less government" -- but keep fighting for all of these government regulations that take away significantly important freedoms?

From Don't Ask, Don't Tell to forcing pregnancies on women that had no choice in their circumstance, how is this less government?

I know it's asking a lot for people to be honest. But, for once, I'd like someone to stand up and say, "When I scream at these rallies that I want to take back MY country, what I really mean is that I want to take back my country from a black President."

The term "take back" in reference to this country is language that really rubs me raw. It's quite obvious what this means when the people at these rallies are older white people. **(As a side note that I really think goes without saying, not ALL older white people feel this way, so I don't need comments saying there are exceptions. Of course there are, if there weren't, Obama wouldn't have been elected.)

And, I would really like it if people that say they are "republican" can give me ONE good reason why they would align themselves with such a party other than "Well, I don't like taxes and I don't think government should be big."

As I've already stated, Republicans believe in government control too. It's just different policies/issues they are controlling.

Now, I'm not saying the Democratic Party is perfect. I know they both have their issues. But we are talking about moving our country radically in reverse by electing such zealots to our political offices.

The only way our country will ever be able to actually get anything done is if both sides are willing to work with each other. This means that people have to stop seeing "red" and "blue" and start becoming color blind when it comes to human rights issues.

There is hope. I can't believe I'm about to say this -- but, I actually have been intrigued by Meghan McCain -- the outspoken daughter of Senator John McCain. She intrigues me because while she's still a republican, and I disagree with her on many issues, she's young, smart, and isn't afraid to buck up against the republican standards when she thinks they are wrong about issues. For example -- she disagrees with her Father's position on Don't Ask, Don't Tell and believes it's repeal is long overdue. She also believes in gay rights and feels that everyone should have the right to marriage (non-religious civil unions, as it is not up to the government to mandate church policies). It's refreshing for someone who is a republican to openly state their support for these two items. Now, if I find out she believes evolution isn't just a "theory", I'll be really excited about our future.

I don't know what is going to happen to our country. I only hope that we continue to move forward, instead of feeling like we are taking two steps back.